Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
