We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Randomize
