i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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