everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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