so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
