there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
that may or may not have been my penis.
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