my room smells like sperm. sweet.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
