Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
