I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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