He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
