And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
