My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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