she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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