I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
