She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
