I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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