I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
