Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Randomize
