i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
