It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
