You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
