You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
