i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
