To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
