so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
