So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
