Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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