You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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