It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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