Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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