No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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