he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
