I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
