dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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