hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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