You just made me feel so damn special
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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