Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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