So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
