That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
