I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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