We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
