you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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