Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
