I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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