yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
