Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We got so high we made milksteak
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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