so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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