so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
