I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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