Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
