Already got asked if we're dating
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
