i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
